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jesse. sydney, australia. 17.

crabparty:

my brother had a dream he spent 20 dollars on a hotdog and he woke up screaming

souljannoying:

one time i got a fish and my dad made me name it james pond

planetfuckingjupiter:

new olympic sport: the contestants must sit on their legs until they fall asleep and then run down a flight of stairs

dilemmemily:

one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves